We need proof.
How many emails, written articles, blog posts, letters and so on, do you receive that are 100% spelt correctly or read well? For me it is far too few.
Almost every written contact I receive, or publication I read, has some form of mistake on it. I’m afraid I find this very frustrating because it takes just a few minutes, sometimes just seconds, to proof-read your own work. Normally I would suggest arranging for someone else to proof-read it, but of late, the mistakes have been so bad that the author could not have failed to spot them if they had only bothered to read them through before sending.
Generally, I will not buy from a company that is so unprofessional that it fails to read what it has written before sending it to customers or prospects. How can I reccomend them to others if I know they don’t take care to check what they are saying?
Normally, I regard this as just lazy and unprofessional, but, since lockdown I’m afraid it has become worse. We are all human and we all make mistakes, but very few should get passed a quick read-through. None should get through if it is professionally proof-read.
The last straw for me came when I received a letter from the funeral directors we had commissioned. In the first half of the letter it referred to my Mother who had sadly passed away. Later in the email it twice referred to my Father instead of my Mother. I politely pointed this out. Their response was to say ‘I have not attached the ammended letter’.
Aaagh! Clearly he meant ‘I have now attached the ammended letter’, but he had not re-read that one either. His letter and response would have upset some people.
I sent him a polite emial pointing out that perhaps proof-reading was not one of his strengths. He did not bother to respond. You cannot help but wonder, where else they are less than professional.
Will I reccomend them? Probably not.
At some stage in the future, lockdown will end. For months we will have been meeting, talking, and socialising with the images of people on screens. When we finally get to meet with them again, how will we cope?
Can we remember the ‘social niceties’ as we used the call them, the social conventions that ensure mutual respect and deference?
I thought it would be a good idea to share with you some of the social decorum or etiquette that we were expected to follow when we were younger (which is probably before you were born, dear reader). Yes, in such prose as these when addressing the reader they were often referred to as ‘dear’ or even ‘gentle reader’!) The following relate to ‘greetings’ in the 1960s. Some of these conventions are still applied by the ‘old school’!
• If a lady entered a room all the gentlemen were expecteed to stand. If a large room or hall, or in a large gathering it was understood that only those whom she approached would stand until she was seated.
• All gentlemen would stand to shake hands but the ladies would remain seated to do the same. (I believe this is still expected and correct behavior.)
• Unless they are a relative or long standing friend or aquaintence, no kissing is allowed. If the lady leaned forward for a peck then this could be offered or received, but this was unlikely.
• Anyone senior to us in years we would call ‘sir’ or ‘madam’, unless instructed by them to do otherwise. If respect needed to be emphasised then these could be used at any time.
• If you knew someone’s Christian name you would not use it unless invited to in an introduction. It would be Mr., Mrs, or Miss as appropriate. Again, Sir or Madam could be used if superiority is clear or even suspected.
• If passing someone you know, gentlemen should raise or touch the rim of their hats. If a lady then stops to engage them in conversation the hat should be removed until the lady moves on.
– there is a lovely story involving my Father. In the early sixties he was a civil servant working in the city of London, in Somerset House. The ‘uniform’ in the city was great-coat and black bowler hat. This hat was raised or the rim touched at all required moments. One day when returning home and almost at our garden gate, he met an acquaintance. He started to raise his hat. At the same moment, his acquaintance offered his hand for a handshake greeting which was also acceptable, but was a more familiar approach. Dad accepted this and so started to offer his hand in return. His friend had also realised the disparity and was starting to raise his bowler hat at the same time. My Mother relays this story as she was watching from the window and says that the greeting was attempted three times with hats being raised and hands offered alternately, until finally they gave up and just said hello.
• On ending the conversation, if with a lady, the hat was returned to the head and with a gentleman it was raised or the rim touched on parting.
That may seem very involved but that was the way we were taught to behave, the expected ‘norms’; and THAT was just for the greeting!
I am not suggesting we re-adopt these social expectations, this was just a bit of fun. But, we can be certain that when our ‘normal’ is returned we will feel very strange shaking hands with strangers or even standing right next to them in a meeting or gathering.
I used to give a talk called ‘Selling, Ballroom Dancing and Space Invaders’. The latter reference is to those who invade our personal space. I would not be surprised if our normal personal space has been extended due to ‘social distancing’.
Let’s hope we can soon return to ‘social nearness’, or for the brave, ‘social closeness’, and we can look forward to sharing time AND SPACE with everyone we wish.
The Government is keen for business to continue so that when we are able to return to the ‘norm’ we can be better prepared. Perhaps this is the best time to focus on personal and professional development within your business. With good training, coaching or mentoring in sales, marketing and business development, you could use the time wisely by developing a more complete and successful approach to growing your business.
So, Salient is going Live-On-Line….
To help you follow social and health requirements I will now be offering my courses as either a live-link to allow full interaction, or as recorded modules for you to access at your convenience and as often as you need. I have chosen Zoom as the most effective platform. I will use the ‘Entrance Lobby’ facility to ensure the sessions remain secure.
These courses will be offered at a lower cost than an attended course.
Also, as a special offer, when the crisis is over, I offer a ‘refresher day’ at a bargain price, when I will come to your offices and deliver a summary of the course and, where appropriate, run a workshop to cover aspects in which delegates still need assistance.
In this way, delegates will have the advantage of isolated learning, together with a final interaction session, when the dust settles.
All delegates for live sessions will be provided with a workbook.
Live sessions will include all aspects of the course when given on-site; flip chart, discussion, slides, exercises, discussion etc.
Assistance is offered on an individual basis (phone or email) at no cost for up to one month after the sessions. Sessions last from one hour to one day and courses are available for 2 to 5 days duration, either consecutively or separated by up to 3 weeks. Clearly, the longer the course, the greater the scope and depth we can cover, and the longer the new ideas and skills are likely to be retained.
Costs: with reduced overheads, the cost of Live-On-Line sessions will be signficantly less than those arranged for personal attendence (pre-and post-covid-19).
Salient has adapted and will continue to offer great value in all courses, programmes and sessions. Expertise in sales, marketing and business development, designed and applied to your business. Use Salient and stay safe!
BANTER OR BULLYING?
CHARACTER BUILDING, OR CHARACTER DEMOLISHING?
How important is it for everyone to be resilient, thick-skinned, even hard-nosed?
Life can be hard. Without one or more of these traits we run the risk of being beaten down by the more forceful and ultra-confident types.
To illustrate, let me describe an extreme version of this:
A confident go-getter enjoys ‘banter’ with their colleagues. One colleague is a less confident and seldom joins in with the exchange of ‘winding-up’ and derisory comments. To some, this makes them ideal targets for such banter, and the comments start.
Initially teasing, they are easily shrugged off. But, they continue, and can develop a hint of mocking. Others, wanting to remain with the confident and ‘favoured’ group, will find themselves joining in, sometimes without intending to. Within a short period of time, perhaps a few weeks, one person has become the butt of most of the ‘banter’ going on.
Originators of office/school/group banter will claim it is ‘character building’. They believe they are helping those bearing the brunt of the humour to gain a thicker-skin, to ‘man-up’. The ‘Butt’ may well attempt to join in, but will show their inexperience in making quips and digs and will likely receive more ‘digs’ as a result. Initial banter is usually ignored, but continued and it gradually eats away at the recipient, resulting in lost esteem and confidence.
Life is hard. Perhaps we should encourage this form of banter to help weed-out those not capable of defending themselves and so to form stronger teams.
But, what are we doing if this continues unabated? We are making someone’s life pretty miserable. They will see it as bullying and will find it more and more difficult to become involved, contribute, socialise and engage.
Then there is the other extreme, where we cosset and protect the weak and avoid all banter and ‘wind-ups’. I remember when a boss I had in the mid 90’s apologised to me for swearing. He assumed that, as I didn’t swear, it must be that it offends me. Bless him! Extreme swearing does offend me, but the occasional ‘Anglo-Saxon Derivative’ (as my English teacher used to say) can add richness to the language. The reason I didn’t swear was because I had four young impressionable daughters at home and Dad swearing, even inadvertently, was not the example I wanted to give them.
There is another way. I saw this happen once and it had a great positive impact on me. At one stage in my career, the boss was also the chief source of the office banter. He would rip into anyone, strong or weak and wind them up to a high level. Most of us recognized this and responded in kind (to a lower level; we wanted to stay in good books). There was one chap who did not take this well. He was a really nice guy and had much to contribute to the group. However, it was clear that he was enjoying being at work less and less. His mood changed and his engagement with all of us was less frequent and helpful. He was becoming isolated. This was not the group’s intention, but none recognised it for what it was and no-one wanted to suggest to the boss that he stopped. In the end, the boss sorted it. He was perceptive and understood fully the risks to the team and to our colleague. The boss took him to one side and had a chat with him. The next thing I know, our colleague was smiling, animated and seemingly in awe of the boss! His output increased and his loyalty knew no bounds. He was even seen to join in with the banter occasionally.
What did the boss say? Eventually, my colleague confided in me.
In a nutshell the boss had told him that he was sorry that such actions and comments were upsetting him. He told him how valuable and valued he was, how he should ignore anything that offended and to regard it as immature behavior on their part. He wanted my colleague to come to him and tell him at any time if anything was bugging or upsetting him, because he wanted him to be happy in his work and to enjoy his time. The boss, even said he regretted the way he behaved but that it was now expected of him and he was worried that any change would be regarded as a weakness.
In showing humanity and humility, the boss had succeeded in turning round the whole situation.
Perhaps this is the best approach when such ‘banter’ risks getting out of hand; risks losing a colleague, or worst of all, demolishes someone’s self-confidence and self-esteem.
There is no easy answer. But, taking account of people’s feelings can result in stronger teams, stronger relationships, and stronger leadership.
KICKING THE HABIT – and adopting a better one
“Old habits die hard”. Very true that one.
Another, which is one of my favourite quotes, is known as:
Einstein’s definition of insanity: ‘Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’.
This is very true when it comes to training or coaching. I’ll explain:
When training and coaching, we show the delegate(s) how they can do things more easily and more effectively, helping them to be more productive and successful. We encourage the delegate(s) to embrace the new ideas and embed them in their daily routine.
They say it takes at least 28 days of daily repetition for the new skills to embed and to fully replace the ‘old habits’.
So, the concern of every good trainer is that, over time, old habits will creep back into regular use. As expected, success obtained with the new skills starts to decline. With the year following any training or coaching, the poor delegate is back to square one. At this point it is not unheard of for the delegate or company involved to suggest that the training was ineffective, or even a waste of money!
Luckily, I have not received such feedback.
This is why the best trainers or coaches offer ‘refreshers’ on a regular basis, perhaps every 3-6 months, to help maintain the focus and to fully embed the new skills and techniques. As an alternative, I also offer the Salient Mentoring Programme; a monthly re-focus and target management system that keeps people on track, motivated and successful.
Unfortunately, not everyone goes for more than the single, deep plunge they get from dipping into Salient expertise. They feel that the short-term fix is all they need and for some this has indeed worked. Some have grasped many of the new ideas and skills and applied them with tenacity. These companies are seeing a marked difference in their sales results.
Glib though it may be, the saying that holds true in all these cases is simply:
‘If you want things to change, you have to make some changes’.
…and not let old habits undermine those successful changes.
- Those on a diet do not stop as soon as they reach their ideal weight; they work hard to maintain it.
- You may spend weeks or months achieving peak fitness. If you stop there it only takes a short time to return to ‘couch potato’ status!
- The best mentors have their own mentors to help keep them at the top of their game. Sales people not at the top of their game will lose focus, and lose business.
Get to the top of your game and learn how to STAY THERE by refreshing and adding to your skills!